Attitude Profile

I tend to stay away from personality/relationship tests because when loosely scrutinized, the holes are incredibly obvious. The only personality test that I have ever been impressed with is the Keirsey Temperament Sorter which I believe has a more objective approach than the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

There is plenty of talk about Valentine’s Day (February 14th) in the blogosphere. I am indifferent at best to the holiday, preferring instead Halloween–which as far as holidays are concerned epitomizes romance the most. Regardless, the blogger Nessa has an entry with her responses to this Valentine’s Day relationship survey.

Now, the link above takes you to a page that asks you for your Age, Sex, Relationship status, and Length of that relationship. I can see how age can play a factor in the responses from a teenager versus someone in their 20s or 50s. I took the test once as either gender and both the questions and my results were the same. The ‘sex’ drop down box is only relevant then for the purpose of determining which gender is taking the test the most. Unfortunately, I do not believe the average person is going to look at that sex option and view it that way.

The questions are generally gender neutral. The only two questions I had problems with were 7 and 14. Number 7 asks what you consider to be the perfect ‘date’ movie and number 14 asks you which of the available songs you would play in a ‘romantic situation.’ The choices are incredibly stereotypical.

They illustrate in their simplicity society’s penchant for dividing ‘normal’ time with ‘romantic’ time and one of the major reasons many relationships fail. With the exception of pornography, there is no valid reason for making a distinction between movies to see solely with friends and movies to see solely with significant others. It implies that your significant other is not someone you can be ‘buddies’ with.

There is also the fact that romance is seen as an ’emotion’ and not a state or awareness. Since emotions vary throughout the day then, if romance is an emotion, it must be generated anew by ‘setting the mood’ causing unnecessary work and stress on participants. This is a backward approach, with an extended emphasis on the effect instead of the cause. The most romantic experiences I have ever had were intellectually and creatively rich foremost. When the effects on the mind are so visceral, deep emotions are a natural progression.

At any rate, the purpose of the questions is to calibrate your ‘relationship style.’ I have bolded blue what does not apply to me. However, the results are for the most part quite accurate. Here they are:

Results of Relationship Style test.

You have a Consumate relationship style

You have a “total relationship” with your partner that comprises all aspects of love. Your relationship is very passionate and romantic, you have a great deal of intimacy and are able to share every feeling and idea with your partner, and, what’s more, you are genuinely committed to this relationship in the long run. This is the kind of relationship that most people would only dream of having. You must be very happy… Congratulations!

AND YOUR BIG 5 PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE

You are very calm, relaxed, and confident. It really takes a lot to stress you out and you rarely act on the basis of negative emotions (e.g. , hate, disgust, or anger). You enjoy working under pressure and find that, compared to you, most people worry about pointless things and are not capable of handling pressure that well. You are not very moody or easily upset.

You are introverted, quiet and reserved. You enjoy being on your own and prefer to avoid loud and crowded parties. You don’t really like meeting new people much and have few but good friends who you prefer seeing because you feel more comfortable. You are an evening rather morning type and are rarely bored and generally happy on your own. You are not necessarily shy though some think you are.

You are intellectual, curious, creative and cultured. You probably enjoy art in all its forms and have a preference for non-conventional things. You are open-minded and enjoy trying new things. You tend to be tolerant and to have liberal attitudes. You have a “hungry mind” and enjoy reading to find out about the world, which you see as a fascinating and complex place. You have a vivid imagination and day-dream easily. Sometimes you find it hard to keep your feet on the ground. You have a creative personality.

You are tough-minded, straight-talking, and can be somewhat unfriendly. You are certainly quite confrontational and have no trouble disagreeing with people. You enjoy discussion and like winning arguments. You tend to be competitive. You are also not easily moved by other’s problems unless they are very close to you. Diplomacy is not your thing: If you don’t like something or someone, it is hard for you to pretend otherwise. You believe in saying exactly how you see things.

You are proactive, responsible, and self-motivated. People know you are reliable and dependable. You strive for excellence and are driven by status, goals and target. You are generally focused on your goals and willing to work hard to attain them. You are well-organized and work efficiently. You are methodical and prefer to always plan ahead. You don’t like leaving things till the last minute and are self-critical if you do not achieve your goals. You prefer to avoid risks. You have a reputation both for your work ethic and for being conscientious.

Advertisements

6 responses to “Attitude Profile

  1. It is kind of a reliable test given the small amount of questions, and the relative simplicity of them. I also tested the results with many different answers to have a grasp of how it worked.

    I thought my results were pretty accurate. I don’t think I’m very proud of them, but they are accurate. I have never heard of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. I’m going to try it out whenever I can.

    Your results are kind of impressive. Now I think you are even more strange… not in a bad way.

    I’m curious of why you think halloween is romantic. I love Halloween, but I would apply terms like “fun” and 100 more before “romantic”.

  2. I don’t think I’m very proud of them, but they are accurate.

    Why? Do you believe much of your dissatisfaction is a result of your personality as it exists today or environmental/social/circumstantial?

    Your results are kind of impressive. Now I think you are even more strange… not in a bad way.

    I have no problems at all with the person I am. This is not accidental. It is a result of constant self-analysis, planning and implementing changes where I see fit. When you have led as much of a difficult life as I have, choosing how you respond to life, people, and situations is crucial. To not attack life with all that you are is to be always a victim.

    You can say that my drive for choice is almost maniacal. I possess a fierce determination to succeed in all that I set my mind to. Most of my priorities and definitions of success radically differ from most of society. So, whilst I find my personality becoming and you impressive, I acknowledge that a good many will not.

    This is expected and personally irrelevant.

    I’m curious of why you think halloween is romantic.

    Fundamentally, Valentine’s Day is about restrictions, expectations and rules. I resent expectations to fake emotions on demand for people I am indifferent to. The holiday is not about what IS. It is about giving the appearance and impression that you feel a certain way especially if you do not. I could not care less what the average person believes me to be.

    Halloween on the other hand is a holiday that centers on the unconventional. You can display aspects of yourself that would be considered inappropriate or unacceptable in regular settings. Differences are encouraged and commended. It is the one time during the year when people are not so eager to blend in and alternative lifestyles are not shocking and/or repulsive to most. You begin to see even a small spark of uniqueness in the endless stream of automatons you encounter each day. The world comes alive at night and as you are aware by now, I have a strong preference for the night.

    I was engaged to a Rivethead not long ago. I am not a Rivethead although my personal style reflects a strong appreciation for black clothing, knee-high military boots, wifebeater shirts, and all around utilitarian structured clothes. One Halloween, I surprised my mate by dressing like a Rivethead. Styling wise, I already had the long black hair and only needed black eye liner–not to be confused with the heavy make-up of Goths. It was one of the most sensual experiences I have had.

    On another note, Halloween is an actor’s dream come true–the same goes for make-up artists and prop and costume designers. 🙂

  3. I’m a very insecure person, confused all the time, and whenever I want to gather my thoughts and see a clear picture, it all falls apart. I see my personality as though as I’m trying to hold 20’000.000 tiny M&Ms with my hands. They just keep spilling.

    I’m not that distressed about that. I think if I had it all together I would get bored. But it just means that most of the times I will not act iron confident, and will be more open to what could be rather than what I currently believe is the answer to my questions. Eternal exploration. The scientist who will never be satisfied but might get to places nobody else has.

    And it makes me think of another difference between me and you. I can see in the way I talk, that I always use things like “I believe”, “I think”, “What I’ve read and lived gives me the feeling that…”. While you speak like you were certain.
    And I do think most of the person I am has been a result of high randomness that bounces on my personality, and shapes it at the same time. The result is something analyzed but at the same time random. I don’t believe who I am today has been a result of conscious choices. And FAR from being a result of planning. And I like it that way. If I knew that everything in my life is going to happen according to planned because I will make it happen that way, I’d probably die willingly, because I would know the end result of it all and it’s like spoiling my own movie.

    Of course we have had very different upbringings. I’ve just been a wanderer. I guess in a way I’m much younger than my age. Still waiting for that “crash” with the world. Remember?

    I know I don’t really like holidays like Valentines because I get people I haven’t seen in my life kissing me on my cheek. Also, I hate cyclic, routinary things.

    I think I’d also like Halloween as you picture it. It does seem romantic. I make up daydreams all the time about thousands of things, and many of them involves making myself and people I know look different in my head and have their memories erased so they don’t remember “the rules” and just act the way they want to, and many other ways. I think I have some repressed desire over there. But it’s not worth mentioning it now.

    The thing is, we don’t really do Halloween over here. At least not as adults. Only humans below the age of 7 are allowed to dress up. I tried to push some people into getting more in the mood for it, but I ended up looking strange in the middle of a regular party with only 1 acquaintance besides me who thought dressing up was to wear a hat she had never wore before. I’ve been disappointed ever since. I don’t like having attention centered on myself, and it was quite embarrassing and sad. People though it was cool though, but, I didn’t really care.

    I usually look and dress pretty normal, and in real life I’m sure you’d confuse me with one of those “automatons”.

    I’m just not really interested in keeping a high profile. It’s too much work.

    I think halloween is the dream holiday for me. Except it’s stil a dream.

  4. I think if I had it all together I would get bored.

    According to you, what does ‘having it all together’ consist of?

    And it makes me think of another difference between me and you. I can see in the way I talk, that I always use things like “I believe”, “I think”, “What I’ve read and lived gives me the feeling that…”. While you speak like you were certain.

    As certain as I can be.

    My options in life are usually thoroughly explored and dissected, making almost every decision I make premeditated.

    Why do I think this? Why do I want this? What do I expect? What is likely to happen? Will it benefit me? Cause and effect. What effects will occur from the causes I set into motion? What will I do then? What will they [people] do? How far into the future can I explore and predict a possibility based on what I know of the subject before me, be it environmental/physical/psychological?

    Most responses I have already anticipated. As new information is brought to my awareness, the process repeats over and over.

    Does it not make sense given this that it also applies to ideas and not just to my environment and those in it? Does it not make sense then that certainty is a natural consequence–as much as is possible in a changing world?

    Rigorous knowledge and exploration breeds confidence and certainty.

    I have my own rules of engagement and operation. Most of the time I follow them diligently and they evolve, exist, and endure over time for their effectiveness. However, on rare occasions, I brake them. My penchant for destruction is as consistent and strong as my inner drive for creation.

    It always has been.

    And I like it that way. If I knew that everything in my life is going to happen according to planned because I will make it happen that way, I’d probably die willingly, because I would know the end result of it all and it’s like spoiling my own movie.

    No matter how resolute your plans, you can never fulfill them exactly as you lay them out. I plan as much as I can from action to action and random occurrence to a less random one. I want my life to be infused with adventure and as insane as that life has been, adventure has never left me.

    There are those who plan to the last detail and stick to it no matter what comes their way. This constitutes almost as much loss of control as no planning.

    The key to self-fulfillment is part planning and part adaptation. If you adapt too much to your environment, it controls you. If you plan and follow those specific plans whilst ignoring your environment, the plans control you.

    Be careful that in your desire to be surprised, you do not allow chance to control you; for chance is devoid of feeling and it never has your best interest in mind. As easily as it gives it can take.

    I think I have some repressed desire over there.

    Cause and Effect. Behind every action and thought there is motivation.

    I think halloween is the dream holiday for me. Except it’s stil a dream.

    It can be a living dream with the right company and in the right environment. Perhaps one day it will be more than a simple dream for you.

  5. According to you, what does ‘having it all together’ consist of?

    I conclude from the posts and comments I’ve read here, that everything you are, and everything that happens to you has been your choice. That you’re not a victim of any circumstances.

    It sounds to me like you had the same 200000 M&Ms I refer to, but were juggling them in all kinds of ways, telling them “just float and come back to my hands in a line”, with some effort but successfully. I see you doing that and I think “Wow, that’s hard.” For the most part I think my brain is not really under my control, I’m just an observer, and use what I see would be helpful in solving problems and understanding the world
    .

    You can say that my drive for choice is almost maniacal.

    When I’m presented with options, I start analyzing them, but I can’t select one if I don’t have all the information, and getting all the information takes time, and opens more options, and there I am again with the spilled candy on the floor.

    Though, I’ve been thinking, and I think I can undertand why you act this way and why I don’t.

    It seems to me like you have a much clearer structure of your own mind, and you know how it works much more than I do about my own. Having that clear, I can understand why you’re able to process the options much faster and more efficiently to your best interest than I can.

    How did you get such self-knowledge? Experience? Intelligence?

    Either way, after you have created this complex mental structure, and you understand it for the most part thus being able to efficiently use it to process the new information, I can understand why you’re able to speak with such confidence. If you’re proved wrong, you will just add the new information and produce new theories and take pleasure on it because it adds value to your complex mental structure and your understanding of it.

    It’s fascinating like science itself.

  6. Nessa,

    This is a very insightful post. I find myself impressed. It seems that in the time that we have not communicated you have come to understand me better.

    I conclude from the posts and comments I’ve read here, that everything you are, and everything that happens to you has been your choice. That you’re not a victim of any circumstances.

    Well, not exactly.

    I have been a victim of circumstance and of individuals numerous times in my life. Most of it took place when I was not legally able to care for myself. For me to say otherwise would be one of the worst injustices. The first step in stopping yourself from continuing to be a victim is to acknowledge that you are one. To claim oneself a victim when it is true, is a testament of strength, whilst claiming so when it is not true, is a sign of weakness.

    There are some situations and people that cannot be avoided. They are especially prevalent when one is a minor and therefore incapable of legally making decisions about one’s welfare.

    As we get older, we have more of a say about what happens to us. Some of us are more in charge about what happens to us than others. Yet, life is about chance, and as such it is impossible to have a choice about everything that happens to us. The choice I speak of in general, pertains to how we choose to react to situations once they occur. Therefore, it is possible to be a victim and still have choice—albeit those choices are considerably limited.

    To react blindly is to be a victim in the truest sense. To study one’s options and then decide is to be an empowered victim. One cannot prevent oneself from being wounded, but one can do damage control. It is not an easy position to be placed in because no matter the option, they all necessarily involve sacrifice—sometimes often of the worst kind.

    For the most part I think my brain is not really under my control, I’m just an observer, and use what I see would be helpful in solving problems and understanding the world.

    To some extent, we are all observers to ourselves. It is a matter of degree. We have individuals who immerse in themselves and fail to detach when necessary. To be objective, we must detach. But, to be detached most of the time is not healthy either. Both extremes lack control. Wisdom comes from learning when it is most useful to detach, immerse, or both–specifically, what ratio is best.

    When I’m presented with options, I start analyzing them, but I can’t select one if I don’t have all the information, and getting all the information takes time, and opens more options, and there I am again with the spilled candy on the floor.

    Very rarely do we acquire all the information available about any given subject. Decisions must still be made. You just need to decide at what point you have enough information to act. Ideally most of those decisions are educated.

    It is important to note also that when considering what to do, the option of doing nothing must also be included. Not doing anything is also a decision. When you do not know what the best option is, it is important to figure out what the worst options are. Sometimes, doing nothing happens to be it. In that instance, randomly choosing anything else—even by flipping a coin—is your best bet. Consider that, when you find yourself spilling all the candy.

    It seems to me like you have a much clearer structure of your own mind, and you know how it works much more than I do about my own.
    [ … ]
    How did you get such self-knowledge? Experience? Intelligence?

    Intelligence and experience are very useful, but much of it depends on structure.

    I like the M&M analogy and so will use that to explain. I may have as many M&Ms as you or more, the difference between us is that you attempt to juggle them all at once and not surprisingly end up overwhelming yourself. I do not even try to juggle them all at once. It would be quite the feat! At any rate, it simply is not necessary.

    I do not attack complex problems all at once. It is not energy efficient. Grant you, some people do and then end up falling flat on their face. They may even think it is the only way. It is subject oneself to injury without purpose. It is to disrespect oneself. If I am to get injured, I better have exhausted all other options and the reward should be greater than the sacrifice.

    Therefore, the first step is methodology. I lay all the M&Ms on the ground. I look at them all together and attempt to discern patterns. Next, is to rearrange the candy according to these patterns. Order of importance follows. The M&Ms are then arranged by hierarchy. Which of them contain questions whose answers must be addressed before the nature of other M&Ms can be known? The M&M whose hierarchy I have absolutely no idea about go on a separate pile. I begin with what I am most certain about. When the answers come, they will highlight subcategories and so forth until I understand most or all of the M&Ms before me. The more I learn, the more I arrange the M&Ms to reflect the new information. At any given point, I juggle only a select group of M&Ms. When I have answered a problem to my satisfaction, I store it in its designated filing cabinet to be later referred to if the need arises.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s