Tag Archives: gender

I am Androgyne

Androgyny is a State of Mind

Androgyne (pronounced AN-dra-jine) is the term used to describe persons who are androgynous. Androgyny, first and foremost, is a state of mind, not just an attitude or fashion statement. The notion that only androgynous-looking people can be or are androgynous is a misconception. Androgynes can be said to have the gender identity of both a man and a woman — or neither. Some identify with both traditional genders, while others see their identity as more of a synthesis and consider themselves to be agendered, as in “other” or “none of the above.”

I am Androgyne.  Biologically, I am of one sex.  Psychologically, I am neither masculine nor feminine.  Most humans enter a room and identify kindred based on their sex.  It binds them together.  Conversely, when I enter a room I identify no more with those of my biological sex than I do with those of my opposite.

Masculinity and femininity are constructs to me.  I understand them as I would any other type of construct, through observation and analysis.  As such, they bear no relevance to me.  I can be ‘one of the guys’ as easily as I can be ‘one of the girls’ only it is always a role to put on in the same manner as clothes.  One can wear clothes, but at no point does one become the clothes.  Although, it should be noted that I rarely choose to take on either of the binary genders.  I find the act constricting, unnatural, and undesirable.

The human mind has a natural inclination to separate and group objects in an effort to understand.  Objects A belong on the left and Objects B on the right.  Men on the left and Women on the right.  Manhood and womanhood are an important part of many people’s identity.  It inescapably accompanies their every action and thought.  Attempt to abolish the gap between them and the greater their proximity to each other, the greater the difficulty in understanding.

Nonetheless, if you superimpose masculinity with femininity, whilst difficult to relate to for the average person, they can at least envision a mixture of the two since they are already in possession of one.  On the other hand, the concept of being devoid of the experience of masculinity or femininity usually results in a ‘does not compute’ error message.  It is an understandable response.  Humans relate to others and their environment through an inner comparison of their accumulated experiences.  In a way, identifying as one gender or even both is almost as foreign to me as lacking gender is to those in possession of one or both.

I have always been Androgyne.  Yet, it is only recently that I discovered there is a word for what I am and most importantly, that there are others like me.  I am a 27 year old retired actor.  Looking back, I realize the major appeal of acting for me is its inherent duality.  You are at once yourself and the character you portray.  Your character’s actions and words are simultaneously yours and not.

For most of humanity, personal identity is very linked to physical identity.  It is not something the average person need consider.  In my case, my physical body is not a manifestation of my psychological identity and vice versa.

If tomorrow my body were miraculously transformed into the opposite sex, it would be no more accurate a representation of me than my current one.  This lack of consistency leads some Androgynes to adopt an androgynous physical appearance whether in attire or through surgery or both.

Perhaps this offers greater satisfaction to Androgynes that view themselves as both genders.  For those that see themselves as neither gender, as I do, the experience may be less gratifying.  Of course, this is not to dismiss its appeal.  I have a sophisticated utilitarian sense of clothing style, and whilst I am identified as my biological sex the majority of the time, my appearance is androgynous enough to draw attention.

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Androgynous Attraction

Anja Rubik

People of ambiguous gender are attractive. If ambiguity persists after second, third, and more glances, the greater the attraction. If gender cannot be precisely determined at close range even after listening to the individual’s voice . . . there are no words to describe this level of appeal.

Outside the home, my only focus is in getting to my destination. I do not notice faces. People only grab my attention if they are about to crash into me. I use my quick reflexes to slide out of the way, only seeing them as objects to avoid.

I know my particular tastes and preferences very well. Rarely do they intersect with mainstream concepts of beauty and desire, leading to my ignoring most of the world and those who comprise it.

Yet yesterday, my subconscious compels me to stop mid stride.

GAP adSomething and/or someone behind me matches my criteria and with a great deal of accuracy or else my subconscious would see no reason to shake my conscious mind alert.

Moving targets disappear from line of vision faster. I turn around and perform a quick people scan.

Nothing.

I move on to objects beginning with the largest ones.

The inside of this particular mall is littered with enormous, generic, store displays. The one on the right and nearest me, is a clear example, and my eyes pass it almost instantly.

Further ahead is another photograph [directly above].

Now this, I think, must be the cause.

Question: Male or female?

Attitude Profile

I tend to stay away from personality/relationship tests because when loosely scrutinized, the holes are incredibly obvious. The only personality test that I have ever been impressed with is the Keirsey Temperament Sorter which I believe has a more objective approach than the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

There is plenty of talk about Valentine’s Day (February 14th) in the blogosphere. I am indifferent at best to the holiday, preferring instead Halloween–which as far as holidays are concerned epitomizes romance the most. Regardless, the blogger Nessa has an entry with her responses to this Valentine’s Day relationship survey.

Now, the link above takes you to a page that asks you for your Age, Sex, Relationship status, and Length of that relationship. I can see how age can play a factor in the responses from a teenager versus someone in their 20s or 50s. I took the test once as either gender and both the questions and my results were the same. The ‘sex’ drop down box is only relevant then for the purpose of determining which gender is taking the test the most. Unfortunately, I do not believe the average person is going to look at that sex option and view it that way.

The questions are generally gender neutral. The only two questions I had problems with were 7 and 14. Number 7 asks what you consider to be the perfect ‘date’ movie and number 14 asks you which of the available songs you would play in a ‘romantic situation.’ The choices are incredibly stereotypical.

They illustrate in their simplicity society’s penchant for dividing ‘normal’ time with ‘romantic’ time and one of the major reasons many relationships fail. With the exception of pornography, there is no valid reason for making a distinction between movies to see solely with friends and movies to see solely with significant others. It implies that your significant other is not someone you can be ‘buddies’ with.

There is also the fact that romance is seen as an ’emotion’ and not a state or awareness. Since emotions vary throughout the day then, if romance is an emotion, it must be generated anew by ‘setting the mood’ causing unnecessary work and stress on participants. This is a backward approach, with an extended emphasis on the effect instead of the cause. The most romantic experiences I have ever had were intellectually and creatively rich foremost. When the effects on the mind are so visceral, deep emotions are a natural progression.

At any rate, the purpose of the questions is to calibrate your ‘relationship style.’ I have bolded blue what does not apply to me. However, the results are for the most part quite accurate. Here they are:

Results of Relationship Style test.

You have a Consumate relationship style

You have a “total relationship” with your partner that comprises all aspects of love. Your relationship is very passionate and romantic, you have a great deal of intimacy and are able to share every feeling and idea with your partner, and, what’s more, you are genuinely committed to this relationship in the long run. This is the kind of relationship that most people would only dream of having. You must be very happy… Congratulations!

AND YOUR BIG 5 PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE

You are very calm, relaxed, and confident. It really takes a lot to stress you out and you rarely act on the basis of negative emotions (e.g. , hate, disgust, or anger). You enjoy working under pressure and find that, compared to you, most people worry about pointless things and are not capable of handling pressure that well. You are not very moody or easily upset.

You are introverted, quiet and reserved. You enjoy being on your own and prefer to avoid loud and crowded parties. You don’t really like meeting new people much and have few but good friends who you prefer seeing because you feel more comfortable. You are an evening rather morning type and are rarely bored and generally happy on your own. You are not necessarily shy though some think you are.

You are intellectual, curious, creative and cultured. You probably enjoy art in all its forms and have a preference for non-conventional things. You are open-minded and enjoy trying new things. You tend to be tolerant and to have liberal attitudes. You have a “hungry mind” and enjoy reading to find out about the world, which you see as a fascinating and complex place. You have a vivid imagination and day-dream easily. Sometimes you find it hard to keep your feet on the ground. You have a creative personality.

You are tough-minded, straight-talking, and can be somewhat unfriendly. You are certainly quite confrontational and have no trouble disagreeing with people. You enjoy discussion and like winning arguments. You tend to be competitive. You are also not easily moved by other’s problems unless they are very close to you. Diplomacy is not your thing: If you don’t like something or someone, it is hard for you to pretend otherwise. You believe in saying exactly how you see things.

You are proactive, responsible, and self-motivated. People know you are reliable and dependable. You strive for excellence and are driven by status, goals and target. You are generally focused on your goals and willing to work hard to attain them. You are well-organized and work efficiently. You are methodical and prefer to always plan ahead. You don’t like leaving things till the last minute and are self-critical if you do not achieve your goals. You prefer to avoid risks. You have a reputation both for your work ethic and for being conscientious.